


Love's Worth A Million Losses

by mmmdraco



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 20:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're destined to love me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love's Worth A Million Losses

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

If I gave you a million reasons to love me, you would still tell me words that cut to the bone: tales of the times I've failed (where you've triumphed), lines about how I'm a danger to the mission (where you are perfect), scandalous stories about my past (where you have no scandal at all)... Yet, I weep for you when I could cry for me, for what can you love without knowing loss? My million reasons to love you are the million things I've loved, then lost. I can say I love you because I've lost what I loved before. I can say I love you because I've lost *you* before.

I know that losing a little trinket which holds no sentimental value means nothing. Perhaps you feel annoyed that you lost it, sort of like losing a fifty cent pair of sunglasses, but there's no tragedy in the matter as there might be for something that you've had for a good portion of your life. There's far less tragedy in the death of a goldfish you bought yesterday than that of the fish that's been in the tank for as long as you can remember. There's less sadness in breaking a plate you just bought than breaking a plate you inherited from your grandmother who got it from her grandmother. There's less despair in loving you than losing you.

I love you. You love me, too. You just don't know it yet. You must experience loss before you realize it.

But, that doesn't make it hurt less when I go to give you a kiss and you push me hard enough to bruise. I know I should be used to it by now, but there are some things you can never get used to. I can't get used to killing. I can't get used to being pushed away.

In my life, I've never really had much except love. I've always had someone who loved me. I had my mother at birth, then Sister Helen and Father Maxwell at the orphanage. After that, I had Solo as my savior on the streets. Once he was gone, I had Professor G. In between each of those, I've found myself drawn to people who could love me. Now, I'm drawn to you for some inexplicable reason. So, you see, even if I can't explain it, you must love me. At least, you must be able to love me. Otherwise, you'd be breaking something stronger than life itself.

Now, before you go telling me that anything can be broken... we're not talking about cracking a computer codec. We're talking destiny here. You're destined to love me because I love you. That's how these things work. So, quit trying to fight it! It's better to just give in. You're stuck with me until you die. But, given the record, that won't be long. Trust me. That's something else you can't break. Everyone that I love... well, they die. It's a fact of life. It makes it a really good thing that I don't love myself.

Perhaps you can try to change destiny. After all, perhaps your destiny is to break this bit of a curse surrounding every love of my life.

Then again, perhaps I think I'm in love too much. Perhaps my true love is still waiting to come. If that's the case, then the deaths are merely Shinigami helping me find the truth. Eventually, I'll find true love, and that love will be worth every loss because love has to be worth it. Love is worth anything. Love is worth death.

So, Heero... now do you want to be the love of my life?


End file.
